Wednesday, July 30, 2014

A "sign" that you're in love...

Everybody loves to hate pithy sayings. I've got the humor level of about a first grader, so I almost always love pithy sayings. They are clever, succinct, and always contain some level of truth, from very little to completely. 

What I love to hate are some of those pithy Facebook postings (aka memes). Oh yes, they have a place. I post many myself. Guilty as charged. But sometimes some of them just make me mad, and I have to shake my marbles and say "Really?"

Today I saw a post that, in quite the Pavlovian manner, prompted an immediate head tilt and eye roll. Here's the "pithy sign," and then I'll extrapolate. 

Makes me happy??? Who out there, as did I, rolled your eyes when you read this? You're out there, I know you are. Come on, raise your hands. I know this sounds cynical, but I just somehow don't feel that happy is a significant part of the description of love. Contented? Yes. Certainly. 

Though it would make the Facebook list of the Top 10 Never "Liked" Signs, here's how I think the last part of that sign should actually read: 

Love is about being with a person who....
     ...drives me crazy
     ...infuriates me
     ...makes me want to scream
     ...makes me look at how I need to change
     ...makes me learn to communicate better
     ...makes me learn not to pout... 
     ...makes me ... makes me ... makes me...

"Makes you happy in a way nobody else can" sounds like the perfect little dream world, doesn't it? Oh what a lie we tell ourselves!

Consider these definitions (thank you, Merriam Webster!):

Main Entry: hap·pi·ness    Pronunciation: \ˈha-pē-nəs\
1 obsolete :  good fortune : prosperity  2 a :  a state of well-being and contentment :  joy 
b :  a pleasurable or satisfying experience. 3 :  felicityaptness

Main Entry: content Function: verb, transitive verb
1 :  to appease (quiet) the desires of   2 :  to limit (oneself) in requirements, desires, or actions

To me love isn't about being "happy." Happy is fleeting. Adulthood and responsibilities and different personalities jump in and take Happy by the horns and shake it to the ground and wrestle with it. Thirty-four years into marriage, I have had to embrace what I was taught through counseling: Sometimes love is simply a decision. (Wow. Not what i pictured at age 18.) I don't always "feel" happy. I don't always "feel" loved. But I said "I do" and that is a commitment I have had to stand by when Happy was hiding and Grumpy and Downright Angry took over. 

Love is struggling through a marriage - a partnership - through thick and thin, and coming out of the battle with an intimacy and friendship and bond that is unknown to most. Unless you make the decision...


  1. wow. beautifully said. yours is not a theoretical, fantasied definition of love but one that has been fully fleshed out in that lengthy marriage of yours (may you go another 30!). you told me long ago about writing this particular blog and it took me this long to read it! i should be getting ready for work but no! i am enjoying this. think i'll reheat my coffee and keep reading… ;-)

    1. Thank you, Hazel. I value your opinion and your comments mean a lot to me. Glad you remembered to check it out. :)


Thanks for the comment! If it requires a response, I will get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks for reading my blog!